        
mantolokingcoming fall 2009!
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1. I Tried Again
I tried again
to reach out a hand to you
but the more that I felt
the less that I held
until I reached right through you
I tried again
to stock up my world with you
but the more that I kept
the greater the debt
until all I owed was you
I tried again
to speed far away with you
but then as we ran
I lost who I am
and soon I was gone to you
and I believe that we receive
the sum of all that we put in
and that suggests we place our bets
somewhere safe still and serene
but I get bored if I'm not adored
and so I'm looking for a mess
and you're the one I like the best
I tried again
to sever all ties to you
but even as I packed
I knew I'd be back
'cuz I still belong to you
and I believe that we receive
the sum of all that we put in
and that suggests we place our bets
somewhere safe still and serene
but I get bored if I'm not adored
and so I'm looking for a mess
and you're the one I like the best
2. I Just Need My Car
tonight I drive your Honda
from Berkeley Heights to Pensacola
you've got my broken Saturn
my broken heart
I sense a pattern
I moved to find a job
to find a home
where you grew up
but while I met your brother
you went and found another lover
I don't wanna see you
I really don't care how you are
cut the chit-chat
I just need my car
eight flippin' highways
to land in some bumblefuck bar
you're not worth it
I just need my car
six days since you first told me
I was amazed
now I'm just lonely
I guess it's really better
this happened now rather than later
I know it's so Geraldo
I left the stage you stole the show
but wait
the part that's funny?
despite the crap I still love you honey
I don't wanna see you
I really don't care how you are
cut the chit-chat
I just need my car
eight flippin' highways
to land in some bumblefuck bar
you're not worth it
I just need my car
yeah they say to make it good
you gotta do the things you should
and so for our joint cause
I put our love on pause
I went out on a limb
and then you fell for him
I don't wanna see you
I really don't care how you are
cut the chit-chat
I just need my car
eight flippin' highways
to land in some bumblefuck bar
you're not worth it
I just need my car
3. Buy Me Out
I don't have time
to hear your assessment
the mission's planned
the decks are manned
I've got their investment
I've got no ace
it so doesn't matter
I hold full sway
while they're away
I pilfer and flatter
buy me out
buy me out
I've milked it
while you bleed
I count up my winnings
it's safe to say
I'll choose to play
far less than nine innings
is something wrong?
your voice is so distant
a grinding halt?
it's not my fault
just "can" my assistant
buy me out
buy me out
I've milked it
while you are dying I'll fly away
while you are dying I'll fly away
if you can't heed the warning signs
the fault clearly isn't mine
4. I'm Just Trying To Help (Me Like You)
I called you up to let you know
some things that I've learned since I let you go
well for one you're much better than her
yes it's true
but if you want me to come back to you
here's a list of some things
that you could choose to do
there's one thing about her I adore
yeah her stomach is flatter than yours
and don't you get an attitude
since when is honesty being rude?
at the end of the day I'm just trying to help
me like you
like before, when we'd go out
and I'd block the cake you could do without
I can't let you weigh more than 100 pounds
but if you want me to come back to you
here's a list of some things
that you could choose to do
like learn to pick up for your man
and have you considered a spray-on tan?
I kind of want to be with you
as long as you change a thing or two
I recognize you're kind of cool
I might even try to be true to you
just take this time to exercise
focus on slimming those pearly thighs
if you do that it'd be the bomb
and you'd look a little less like your mom
I saw you out the other day
with your new guy did he choose to pay
for your meal? I would never do that
but if you want me to come back to you
here's a list of some things
that you should choose to do
like maybe get rid of your man
'cuz how can he treat you as well as I can?
I kind of want to be with you
as long as you change a thing or two
I recognize you're sorta cool
I might even try to be true to you
just take this time to exercise
focus on slimming those pearly thighs
if you do that it'd be the bomb
and you'd look a little less like your mom
5. Say Goodnight
the frozen winter world
the clouds and flock of birds
you climb the steps to your door
you kick the fallen leaves
your hands tucked in your sleeves
you brace yourself for what's in store
why can't you reap what you sew?
why can't you learn what you know
is right for you? you surely do
so take the cue
and just sit tight for a while
just sit tight tonight and say goodnight
the lonely late of night
the thin fluorescent light
it seems you've lost another day
you try to take it back
uncertain what you lack
you still can't find the words to say
why can't you reap what you sew?
why can't you learn what you know
is right for you? you surely do
so take the cue
and just sit tight for a while
just sit tight for a while
you'll be alright for a while
so just sit tight tonight and say goodnight
6. Failing To Play Nice
he says "daddy loves me some
but momma loves me all"
sometimes it takes him days
to act his usual way
when he's back at her place
he says "can we move to Chicago?
I promise I won't cry"
she says he'll miss his dad
but he says he won't be sad
a blank expression on his face
and how could she have seen this
when she was twenty one
nobody said a word
and even if she'd heard
no matter what they'd said
she'd have kept and made his bed
for as long as she could stand
'cuz it wasn't in her hands
and three is twice the price
for failing to play nice
and back in 1980
was the story just the same
when they sat me on the stairs
and asked me if I cared
that my dad was soon to go
my brother can't remember
how he would get confused
about why we'd go to spend
every first and third weekend
with a man he didn't know
and then came the succession
of more unwanted men
and I made it my task
to tear away their masks
'cuz the way they'd dupe my mom
with money and aplomb
I just wish I'd been a man
but I had such little hands
and still I played the price
for failing to play nice
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7. A Merry Christmas To You
when I saw
you standing on the stairs
in his arms
completely unaware
that I'd come
to send you on your way
gift in hand
I knew just what to say
but how could I bare
(look there's that guy back over there)
his hands in your hair
(the one with glasses and the hair)
and how could I miss
(I can't control what's in his mind)
what could have been my kiss?
(he'll take the hint I'm sure it's fine)
don't know his name
though I've seen him once or twice
had no idea
that you'd kiss him on the ice
near the stop
waiting for the train
will he be here
when you come back again?
as I walk
I stop to see the sights
people shop
the doors are decked in lights
and this book
the one I got to show
you how I feel
I'll leave it in the snow
'cuz how could I bare
(look there's that guy back over there)
his hands in your hair
(the one with glasses and the hair)
and how could I miss
(I can't control what's in his mind)
what could have been my kiss?
(he'll take the hint I'm sure it's fine)
8. You're Out Of Luck
the weather turned
and your fear came back
it settled into the shadows
of your cul de sac
and a turn for the worse
is it always next?
let's hope the whiplash that's coming
doesn't break your neck
and in the distant past
was it just the same?
do the experts know what's coming?
is it a different game?
you better watch your lip
you better raise your guard
always watch the latest headlines
and thank your lucky stars you're still fine
yeah you can't hide and you can't run
the warning signs stole all your fun
you sleep alive you're walking dead
you can't shake the tremors
from your head
yeah you survive but you don't walk tall
you wouldn't want to risk the fall
you sit and watch the ticking clock
until it stops
you're out of luck
as the light grows dim
as the charts go red
you stop to consider the canteen
hidden beneath your bed
should you fill it up?
is it premature?
and where on earth would you run to
when it finally hits your front door?
yeah you can't hide and you can't run
the warning signs stole all your fun
you sleep alive you're walking dead
you can't shake the tremors
from your head
yeah you survive but you don't walk tall
you wouldn't want to risk the fall
you sit and watch the ticking clock
until it stops
you're out of luck
9. The Chatty Bandit
you have a look that makes me want to
yes when I see you there all I want to do
is find a way to coax that subtle smile to stick around
and maybe lift your body
just a bit right off the ground
'cuz I see that there's a sadness in your eyes
though I know that I can hardly sympathize
and I can't pull the sun through a cloudy sky
but too bad 'cuz I'm gonna have to try
there was a night we were IMing
so many times I couldn't keep from LOLTMing
I knew that I was hooked when you said
"good lord, Vincent Price!"
and I tried to fire back with EMS tent flap advice
it's cool you're so much better at this game
and your wit puts all my feeble lines to shame
and to think I can hang I must be high
but too bad 'cuz I'm gonna have to try
'cuz you're the chatty bandit
and I am so glad you've landed
here on my shore when I was blue
I know I might sound sappy
but I wanna make you happy
and so I wrote this song for you
then at my show you had been drinkin'
I sat beside you to see what you were thinkin'
you said you liked my jacket
and my brand new pair of pants
and I went out on a limb to say
you're sexy when you dance
'cuz I know how you've been made to feel before
but to me you seem so easy to adore
and I know these lines can't replace a guy
but too bad 'cuz I'm gonna have to try
'cuz you're the chatty bandit
and I am so glad you've landed
here on my shore when I was blue
I know I might sound sappy
but I wanna make you happy
and so I wrote this song for you
some people might think that it's strange
all the games that we arrange
to keep us entertained
but I really couldn't care
yeah they can go ahead and stare
when we're dancing in our cubes
'cuz you're the chatty bandit
and I am so glad you've landed
here on my shore when I was blue
I know I might sound sappy
but I wanna make you happy
and so I wrote this song for you
'cuz you're the chatty bandit
and I am so glad you've landed
here on my shore when I was blue
I know this might sound sappy
but when you're near I'm happy
and so I wrote this song for you
10. All Surface
float away winter
put a rest
to your test
climb aboard summer
a gentle breeze
stirs the trees
stay a while lover
make me feel
like I'm real
turn your face to me
let me know
before you go
why they don't know me
like they should know me
like they said they would
and I don't mean it
and they can't see it
like I wish they could
did you sail sister
around the world
clever girl
as you span oceans
locked by land
not my plan
and they don't know me
like they should know me
like they said they would
and I don't mean it
and they can't see it
like I wish they could
and I'm tired of being here
fading to one with no purpose
all surface
coming undone
did you hear father?
they called my bluff
I'm not so tough
cut my chest open
found a plan
but not the man
and I don't know me
like I should know me
like I thought I would
and they don't mean it
and I can't see it
like I wish I could
and I'm tired of being here
fading to one with no purpose
all surface
coming undone
11. Won't You Be Mine?
when I've walked a mile or more
in zig-zags from our front door
my mind clears and finally slows
the unending to and fro
the sun melts the week-old snow
there's nowhere we need to go
so let's just shut off our phones
together we'll be alone
I know you
I'll show you
we'll steam it
redeem it
and now that
I've found it
won't you be mine?
our days have most clearly changed
each hour so prearranged
but the scarcity of time to be
shows me all the more
you're dear to me
I know you
I'll show you
we'll steam it
redeem it
and now that I've found it
won't you be
I know you
I'll show you
we'll steam it
redeem it
won't you be
and now that
I've found it
won't you be
won't you be
won't you be mine?
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KINDA LIKE FIREWORKSMay 2008
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1. Baby, it's not cheating
I like to hear
your voice so near and sultry
way down the line
my undiscovered country
My girlfriend thinks
I'm working late on writing
but what we do
is so much more exciting
Yeah she's gone to bed alone
and I've got you here on the phone
I hear your breath
becoming calm and peaceful
deep in the night
can it be right to need you?
and in the morning you'll be gone
your cell phone can't stay charged that long
but when she goes to bed at ten
I know that I'll call you again
Let's just sleep together
it doesn't matter whether
you're spinning through my mind
'cuz I can stop this ride at any time
baby it's not cheating
if it's only fleeting
there's nothing to regret
we haven't even touched each other yet
who would have guessed
a site as dumb as Myspace
could have been blessed
with seven pics of your face
yeah Santa Cruz is a nice place
and I could use a change of pace
I guess with just a little tweak
my job could take me there next week
Let's just sleep together
it doesn't matter whether
you're spinning through my mind
'cuz I can stop this ride at any time
baby it's not cheating
if it's only fleeting
there's nothing to regret
we haven't even touched each other yet
yeah I know about the tricks
the risks you run with point and click
and I'll be rightly called a prick
I just hope that you're a chick
Let's just sleep together
it doesn't matter whether
you're spinning through my mind
'cuz I can stop this ride at any time
baby it's not cheating
if it's only fleeting
there's nothing to regret
we haven't even touched each other yet
2. Stall
you spoke your mind tonight
one at a time the words came raging in
your hopes declined again
last straw, said it before, no more try again
how long can you stall?
how long can you stall?
quick fix, no change at all
back down, try to relax, but you're wide awake
this dream needs time to take
but I don't have the spine for a big mistake
how long can you stall?
how long can you stall?
when you were mine you were so shy
that you would hide at your boyfriend's place
but now your fame makes me to blame
for all of the years that we stayed in place
how long can you stall?
how long can you stall?
3. My girl
my girl
doesn't watch tv
'less it's a movie
by the Coen brothers
my girl
likes to paint and dance
wouldn't give a glance
to no dudes in sports bars
my girl
is at home asleep
'cuz she's gotta keep
Toby blowin' bubbles
my girl
doesn't mind a bit
puts up with my shit
when I get in trouble
she's almost everything I need
forgives me all of my misdeeds
how did I land with all the world?
how come I get to call her
my girl
sure knows how to cook
not just by the book
likes to make me wobble
my girl
knows just what she needs
'specially when she reads
vampire romance novels
she's almost everything I need
forgives me all of my misdeeds
how did I land with all the world?
how come I get to call her
4. Gardener, gibbet, misery
when I drove you home
from the airport on that day
even if I'd known
all the things that you would say
I still would tell you
that I love you in that way
'cuz I don't lie to you
no matter what you say
and oh for honesty
such a price I'm gonna pay
'cuz you've asked not to hear
how I choose to spend my days
will you ever come back?
I didn't have a plan
I thought I wanted to be friends
but in retrospect
it seems I'm doing this again
'cuz you are not the first
that I wanted to adore
next time I feel this thirst
will I lock the door?
and as I twirl around
all these questions in my brain
I wish that you were here
to help me think things through as friends
will you ever come back?
5. Flirting with disaster
you make my mouth water
you make my heart flutter
in fact whatever you wear is too much
and I get jealous of things that you touch
sometimes you make it real hard when I walk
can't get a grip on myself when you talk
I want to unbutton
reveal your bellybutton
look I keep telling myself "we're just friends"
but this rush to the head never ends
and when you tell me about other guys
I try to keep the despair from my eyes
I know I'm flirting with disaster
but when you're near my heart beats faster
I hope these days will never end
I hope you'll always be my friend
sometimes I think you know
and so I take it slow
but it's impossible to pull the breaks
when just a minute with you's all it takes
to get me dreaming again of your mouth
and all the things I would do further south
I know I'm flirting with disaster
but when you're near my heart beats faster
I hope these days will never end
I hope you'll always be my friend
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6. Hey you
hey you, I don't care what you're doing
hey you, I don't care who you're screwing
don't start with your stories unless they're true
hey you, I don't care where you're going
hey you, I don't care who you're blowing
I guess that you'll never be really mine
yeah you've probably met some guy
you're just waiting to decide
but I can't let you go
'til you finally tell me that it's so
you still won't promise to return
when can I expect to learn
just who made you stay
living sixteen hundred miles away?
hey you, why do you keep on calling?
hey you, I can tell that you're stalling
you just need somebody to hold your hand
hey you, won't you pay me a visit?
hey you, that's not somebody, is it?
don't dare fuck around or I'll make you pay
yeah you've probably met some guy
you're just waiting to decide
but I can't let you go
'til you finally tell me that it's so
you never promised to be true
but I expected more from you
how can you choose to stay
living sixteen hundred miles away?
I hope you never call again
then maybe we can still be friends
I know that made no sense
so I'll try to stick to present tense
I would have given you the world
or something equally absurd
just who made you stay
living sixteen hundred miles away?
7. Morning drive
on Friday night we pack the car
as soon as you get home
your hair's a mess from waitressing
and I've been here alone
but come the morning and all of that
we'll leave here with the bills
just seven hours if we cut across
the Pennsylvania hills
and as we drive we'll talk about
the places that we'll go
first Central Park then every single
record store we know
and don't you worry,
SoHo without money can be hard
we've got no cash, but I've got
this brand new credit card
so let the day come now
we'll pay for gas somehow
'cuz only a morning drive
can make us feel alive
the years have passed and suddenly
we spend our nights at home
and our weekends maintaing
all the things that we now own
but when we find a moment
here or there to spend on maps
we plan out road trips to coincide
with our son's daily naps
so let the day come now
we'll pay for gas somehow
'cuz only a morning drive
can make us feel alive
8. Lonely days
you know I love to hear your news
but lately it's been so hard to hear
you're in your bed with some married dude
and I can't find a way to lift you clear
yeah I know it's not the same
but I thought that I could
tame your lonely days
the night I talked you through to sleep
I thought that I could help you keep
from falling further down with him
I guess the slope was just too steep
yeah I know it's not the same
but I thought that I could
tame your lonely days
9. Dancing with my friends
when the weather changed, I'd walk you home
from a distance of thirty feet
and though you knew my name I never found
a way for us to really meet
one day I finally plucked the courage up
to ask you to the eighth grade ball
"I'd like to rent a tux and take you out!"
you smiled and then you let me fall
"I'm going dancing with my friends
I just don't need a new boy"
and on the night we would have stormed the town
I'm playing Zelda in my room
it's getting late, I've taken Gannon down
your bedroom light should switch on soon
"I'm going dancing with my friends
I just don't need a new boy"
then one day in the new grocery store
I see you picking out some bread
a million years since you last let me down
but then you saw me stopped and said
"the night I went without you to the ball
I should have gone with you instead
my best friend stole the boy I'd loved all fall
I wouldn't care if she dropped dead"
"I'm going dancing with my friends
I just don't need a new boy"
10. Skies
when you said
"this is my favorite place in Kansas"
I didn't have the heart
to say "we're in Missouri"
but as the windows cycled by
around our table in the sky
I knew that you would be the one
to bring my face into the sun again
and you said
"I've got five giant older brothers.
don't mess around 'cuz they each
weigh a thousand pounds or more"
I laughed and swore to never
give them cause to swarm
and as we sped around the rink
I finally found the nerve to speak
I'd go anywhere with you
it doesn't matter what we do
come on now and fly with me
there are so many Skies to see
and when you got your first big offer
I knew it was too strong to keep
you in this town for long
we packed your things on Halloween
between the ghosts and ghouls
I couldn't help but make a scene
and as we drove you lost your voice
but as we checked your bags you said
you'd call me from Detroit
I thought I'd drive home in the rain
but as you left the ground
I booked my seat on the next plane
I'd go anywhere with you
it doesn't matter what we do
come on now and fly with me
there are so many Skies to see
the greatest gift I'll ever prize
was the welcome in your eyes
I'd go anywhere with you
it doesn't matter what we do
come on now and fly with me
there are so many Skies to see
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1. Triptych
I won't lie to you, mother
can't you see it's true
that you've not been laughing
for so long it seems
that you've mislaid all your dreams?
I know why you're blue, father
hopes now overdue
stuck in the traffic jam
between your ears
where you sublimate your fears
and file away the years
I can feel your pain, sister
though you don't complain
who would you complain to?
'sides the one you spend
all your weeknights with 'till ten
we'll come get you then
2. Undefeated champion of the arcade
free guy
if you shoot him in the eye
don't die
don't die
I'm undefeated champion of the arcade
I disregard all the street cred that you made
you're next in line, droppin' down your token
I win again, the joystick must be broken
I'm undefeated champion of the arcade
I'm flushing down every last cent that I'm paid
for seven years, this my only calling
it's closing time, I can't admit I'm stalling
I'm undefeated champion of the arcade
they tore it down and built another Rite-Aid
now that it's gone I need to win at something
come take me on, a round won't cost you nothing
3. Behind my smile
you know I'm standing by
you know I would not lie
hidden behind my smile
I'll wait for a little while
your new boy's so damn brash
I never talked such trash
but I won't speak my mind
I guess I blew my stack
but he'll come crawling back
say you'll still be my friend
and I'll be good again
4. Ashley Christian
I know, you've got no time
but can we talk now?
you say everything's fine
but I can't see how
you can be so content
when I'm here churning
I guess you know all the facts
that I'm stil learning
Ashley Christian
you caved my heart in
you hardly knew him
and yet you screwed him
I heard you met this new guy
at some lame cook-out
just what did he do right
to make you put out?
oh fine, I'm just a jerk
you've pegged me squarely
next time you break someone's heart
just do it fairly
Ashley Christian
you caved my heart in
you hardly knew him
and yet you screwed him
5. Morning Pales
I keep dreaming of you
pressing to me on the bow
falling backwards as we kiss
morning pales compared to this
I keep dreaming of you
a candle lit beside the tub
whisper soft by christmas light
lending secrets for the night
I keep dreaming of you
barefoot near me on the couch
encircled close within my arms
heaven lost with my alarm
6. Bottled in glass
corduroy cuffs in a world of jeans
maple leaves hang from the rafters
migrating birds draw Vs through the clouds
if I wrote your name would you call mine aloud?
Halloween night, you're one of the stars
fallen beside me
we would play chess and you stole all my pawns
the day that we lay in the snow on your lawn
I'll never forget chestnut hill in the spring
or how I would dream of our hearts twined by string
if I could still find us both bottled in glass
I'd drown out the present and drink in the past
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7. Starling
my ears are ringing
the floor is spinning
the roof now open air
my hands in your burnt hair
my little starling
in all our quarreling
I did not take clear aim
and now our world's in flame
pathetic sovereign
strewn on the mountain
impaled upon my crown
I struck my family down
please help me, madness
and blank my brain
for even heaven's flame
could never cleanse my name
8. Stars & Stripes
I pledge allegiance to the waves in your hair
though I'm not convinced to salute the flag
I pledge allegiance to the ring on your hand
and the rockets burning within my mind
and in DC, as they pass down their choice
to send young blood burning from the bay
I pledge allegiance to the light that you cast
as a civil twilight engulfs our land
I pledge allegiance to the sound of your feet
on the way to work in the early morn
I pledge allegiance to the stars in your eyes
though I'm not convinced to salute the stripes
and yes I guess why execs at their desks
never air an arab on CNN
I pledge allegiance to the sound of your name
and all I ask is that you take mine
9. Callisto
floating in the void
somewhere near Ganymede
without my friends
a soliloquy in time of need
an eclypse
so common in these parts
so many moons
one of them has my heart
Callisto betrayed me
and holds me still with gravity
Callisto, cold and fair
found Jupiter and left me there
her giant boyfriend
storms rage in his eyes
fills my vision
with his brazen lies
beneath the clouds
so smooth and civilized
lies violent truth
he's got her hypnotized
Callisto betrayed me
and holds me still with gravity
Callisto, cold and fair
found Jupiter and left me there
10. The more things stay the same
when you ran back inside
as if you had something to hide
I called you up just to see what gave
I think you said I move to fast
but soon today will be in the past
and nothing ventured, nothing gained
and when I sent that note to you
I didn't know what else to do
it was desperation that made me brave
and all I want is to be a friend
there's no advance for you to defend
I never meant to make things strained
I took a walk 'round the block
just to search for a clue
I still can't figure out
how to synch up with you
all those things I said outside
I meant to show I had nothing to hide
I don't know why I tried so hard
I think it's cuz I've lost so much
and you remind me of someone I trust
but now I've made you raise your guard
I took a walk 'round the block
just to search for a clue
I still can't figure out
how to synch up with you
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Abigail
Abigail
I hate to see you lie in bed all day
waiting for the call
he'll never answer
he's so small
that even if you manage to find a way
to climb above that wall
there's just no chance, dear
you're looking for romance
and it's the last thing that you'll find
Abigail
I can't wait until you finally speak your mind
"everything is fine"
but not behind your glasses
you wait in line
and buy a seat to occupy your time
reading all the rhymes
and sleeping through your classes
waiting for your chance
and letting life drift slowly by
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Glory be
we saw the sun
send its first rays
through the crack in my curtains
and then you were gone
driving for days
on your way back to Athens
you called from the car
to tell me the shape
of the clouds on the turnpike
my own shooting star
I gave you my heart
just to see what it felt like
and glory be
to all lost lovers
let someone see
their incantations
we took the train
from city to suburb
asleep after midnight
we went to reclaim
the pact that we made
when we kissed 'neath the streetlight
we walked through the park
collecting the ruins
of my childhood castle
we fought in the dark
we parted in hate
to avoid all the hassle
and glory be
to all lost lovers
let someone see
their incantations
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All songs written by Jesse Kates [Halaster Music/ASCAP] with copyrights in various years.
This work by Jesse Kates is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License.
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